Tags: i'm so hip

June 2011 kids

Public service annoucement

You want to know what is NOT awesome? I still don't have a cell phone. Would you like to hear more about my very small but very annoying first world problem? No, you don't? Too bad. It totally sucks to not have a phone. I can't call anybody. I can't text daily with my sisters. I don't even know the weather forecast tomorrow! What if it freezes again? My plants will die.

I might die soon. It's so hard to be me.

Anyways, the phone is supposed to be here this week which means that although today is only Sunday, the week is only going to get better. I'm trying hard to be positive. So let's also remember to treasure our people this week.

Even the rotten ones who throw expensive cell phones in toilets, m'kay?

That is all. Carry on.

Happy Monday, friends. Only five more days until the weekend!

Awesome Print is from Zulily. I'm addicted y'all. Seriously.

June 2011 kids

Solid gold

Remember that one time I randomly found Bennett on a poster at the library? (For the full story, click here.) I'm just minding my own business and not paying attention and BAM.

There he be on the cover of a magazine poster:


(Please ignore the squishy, fake smile.)

Well, it happened to me again. I'm just minding my own business and I randomly found my picture out in public again. Last summer, when Cora was a wee tiny baby, I had my picture taken with her at the hospital. I signed a waiver (DAMN IT. THINK OF THE MONEY I COULD BE MAKING), smiled with my beautiful baby, and promptly forgot about the whole thing. Ain't no thing.

That was, if I may be so blunt, until I found my picture on a brochure.

And not just any brochure.

LMH brochure

Seriously? Seriously. My picture is now inside the cover of Lawrence's OB-GYN Specialists brochure. There are so many jokes that I could make about this whole thing. Most importantly, I feel very comfortable saying that I am now the face of gynecological care! Have issues with your vagina and or need pelvic prolapse surgery? Ask me how and I will hook a mother up, yo!

I think my sister said it best, however, when she left this SOLID GOLD comment on my Facebook:

Twat are the chances of finding yourself in the flaps of your OB's brochure?

Slim to none, Sis. Slim to none.

June 2011 kids

Reunion recap.

Hey, did I mention that my 10 year high school reunion was last week? I didn't?

Hallelujah and amen. It's over.

The end.


Just kidding! See, here's the thing. I go home to Great Bend and I hide at my parent's house. I don't go to the grocery store. I don't hang out at the bar. I park on the other side at Sonic, just in case I see somebody I know. (What? Your home town Sonic doesn't have a cool side?) So the idea of specifically traveling 3 hours to make small talk with people from high school was FREAKING ME OUT. FOR REALS.

Overall it was fine. Seriously. I got my panties in a bunch for no good reason. My only complaint is that the DJ sucked and I felt like THE MOM of the group who complained about the too loud music. TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN RIGHT NOW!

Most of the conversations involved four things: who you married, where you live, where you work, and if you have kids. Good news for me, I've got the basics covered. It helps that I have a blog that was mentioned no less than 10 times. Thanks for reading, friends from high school.  

My girls

I got to see two of my oldest and bestest friends, Jana and Megan. We spent a good portion of the weekend together and had lots of fun. I am excited because after spending 10 years in Chicago, Megan (and Scott and baby E) have moved back to Kansas. Jana is also expecting baby #2. I'm so glad that I've kept real (not just on Facebook) touch with them.

IM and Me

Matt was a trooper through the whole thing. He told me that I looked good. He made small talk. He refilled my drink. He took the pictures that we all laughed about. Most importantly, he took the 'old balls' jokes like a man. I'm so glad that he was at my side the whole time. 

So there you go. I survived my 10 year high school reunion.

I probably won't be back in Great Bend until the holidays. If you happen to see me at Sonic, feel free to wave.

I'll be on the cool side.

June 2011 kids

Let this be a lesson to us all

If by chance you have obsessive compulsive disorder like me
you happen to misplace a cloth diaper
you consequently tear apart the entire house while envisioning saturated poop
you call your Mother, Mother-in-law, and sister
ask them NICELY if they happen to know what happened to said diaper

you might want to ask the children who LOVE to play babies.

Mid-July 117 Mid-July 115

If by chance you are running extremely late because you sat too long instead of getting ready
are scurrying around
throwing things in the van
buckling carseats 
pushing the (wrong) button to shut the van door
you instead push the garage door button 

you might want to blame the children who didn't shut the van door in the first place.

If by chance you are like me and are complaining to your husband that you hate fall
you try to explain that spring and summer are your favorite seasons because March is his birthday
April is Jesus' birthday
May is mine and Cora's
July is Simon's
August is Bennett's
he looks at you like you're crazy
says, "Did you just say April is Jesus' birthday?"
you try and recover with a "Yes. I mean his 2nd birthday. You know? His resurrection?"

you might as well know that you'll NEVER, EVER live that one down.

Moral of the story?

June 2011 kids


It's pretty much my personality, but I'm never one to turn down a challenge. Remember that time when I got knocked up in college and everyone (read: my family) thought my life was over? 4.0 GPA for the win AND a teaching degree.

How about that time when my mother-in-law told me that I shouldn't have chickens because chickens are "too much work" and chickens "poop a lot." She'll be happy to know that chickens are totally legal within city limits. I've already done my research. Thankyouverymuch.

Or then there was the time when our new church announced that they were having an 80's day contest WITH PRIZES.

Totally tubular cause that only means one thing: GAME ON. 
Family 2 Family
I don't know about you, but I totally want to get horizontal with that homeboy and his white legs.

Credit goes to Chelse for the photo processing and to my sister-wife for the radical outfits. I'll admit, Jana, it's going to be really hard to leave our little family commune. You are the only person I know (besides me) who dries every single piece of laundry outside as well. And where else can our children play together shirtless for hours on the trampoline? Most importantly, who is going to give me fresh vegetables?

Don't worry, Jana. I promise to call and share my farm-fresh home-fresh eggs with you.

June 2011 kids

Mom shorts

We are having a garage sale this weekend. I've pulled out, re-organized, and chucked out a ton of things this week. It's been therapeutic. A nice, refreshing way to prepare for our big (hopeful) move.

I wasn't even planning on having a garage sale until Matt started complaining about our closet. I don't see what the big fuss was all about. I totally deserve 75% of the closet space anyway. I am a woman. I have needs. Besides, I can't help it that I have so many clothes. It all started the one (and only) year that I worked full-time teaching at SJID. (Also known as the year I thought I had money.) 

Unfortunately, I have no need for ten pairs of size 4, long pants from The Limited any more. Nor do I have a need for eight size small/extra small Victoria Secret nighties and sexy nightgowns. Matt is devastated with this loss.

(Do you think it's okay to sell nighties at a garage sell?)

(Don't answer that. Cause regardless of what you say, I'm still totally going to try.)

(Seriously. Barely worn.)

It's all good because I have so much more room in the closet now. In fact, I was feeling so sad inspired, that I decided to take up Jami's idea and head to Wal-mart for some new shorts. (Mine are khaki, not denim.) Back in the day, I only shopped at The Limited. Now?

Behold the $10.00 mom shorts:

Mom pants

My new shorts touch my knees. They sit at my natural waist. And the best part? The best, best part? MY SHORTS HAVE AN ELASTIC WAISTBAND. Gone is the muffin-top. No more unbuttoning the top button after supper. It's like a sweet, sweet relief in the form of 10 dollars.

Matt's thrilled, as you can imagine, with my new shorts. If he had a choice, he'd totally take elastic waistband Mom shorts over see-thru nightgowns any day. 

June 2011 kids


Matt bought me a used jogging stroller off of Craigslist for Mother's Day. I know, I know. The HORROR. How can I possibly be an attached Mama using a stroller?

It's just that I am tired of babywearing. Bennett is heavy and big and it's no fun to wear him anymore. I can still wear him and I still do (read: it has been months) yet I'd rather push a stroller these days. Don't hold your breath though, I'm not actually going to start jogging with my new pretty stroller.

Nevertheless, I did make Matty Daddy take it for a jog. (An aside: back in the good old days, before all the gray hair, Matt used to run cross-country. I can count on my fingers the number of times I have actually seen him run. UM....FIVE? THREE, maybe?)  And so in my most evil voice I dared him to run. And run he did. He ran so fast the wheel popped off the front.  This, of course, had nothing to do with the fact that we had FAILED TO FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS. Don't fret. It's all good now. A trip to the bike shop means the stroller is in working order again.

It also just reaffirms that I'm not meant to jog. Me = jogging? Never going to happen. Me = exercising? Not in this life. Me = wanting another baby so I can ditch the dorky stroller? Yes, please.

Bennett's babyhood is practically just...OVER. It's done. Insert SAD FACE. He's a kid full of wants, needs, and ideas. He holds conversations. He has learned how to use the potty and even wakes up dry in the morning. I just want to dig in my heels and stop time. I want the squishy newborn days again. I want the milk drunk laughs. I want the baby snuggled up against my body in a pretty wrap. I want soft, beautiful fluffy diapers. (Preferably in pink, but I'm not picky. I SWEAR.)

I want to be skinny(er) again without doing any hard work.

So I confess: I ordered some of these. (Shout out to Jami! I CLAP MY HANDS FOR YOU.) I'm sure the package will come and I will shove everything into the back of the closet. It's almost too much commitment. I might as well tell the world that we are having LOTS OF UNPROTECTED SEX.

We aren't. Yet.

Just like how I bought a jogging stroller and have no plans to run.

June 2011 kids

Earth Day '10

My Earth Day plans were totally ruined today. I intended to have a play date with my friend, Cari, this morning at the park. After school, Simon and I had planned to paper mache a model of the Earth. Except it rained. All day long. And it didn't just rain, it thundered.

Thunder + Bennett = anxious child.

Paper mache + mess inside the house = no go.

(I am way, way, way too OCD to allow something like paper mache in the house. Outside? Yes. Inside? No.)

We did manage to run out (in the rain) to a huge kid's consignment sale. I found an awesome scooter for Bennett. It would be very hippie and Earth Day Cool of me to say that I buy all of Bennett and Simon's clothes second-hand. Except I usually don't. It's not that I won't, it's just that the deals usually aren't good enough for me. (Bennett, for the record, wears lots of recyled clothing. It's nice that they are both summer babies.)

My general rule of thumb? I don't spend more than $5 per t-shirt. I don't spend more than $10 on jeans.

Case in point: The Children's Place is a classic example of how to buy cheap BUT nice clothing. For example, graphic T's are currently on-sale for $5 a piece. I have a coupon code (R3ATX3T5A) for 15% off. Grand total? $4.25 a shirt. I get an additional 10% off in store (if I'm with Jennifer). Then it's becomes $3.82 a shirt. (Feel free to check my math. I SUCK at math.)

(Also, at the end of every season, CP has a $2.99 sale. With coupons, things get very cheap.)

I looked through the clothing today at the sale. I didn't see a single t-shirt for $3.82.

I figure it's all good. I'm teaching my kids PLENTY of ways to save the Earth. We recycle. We use(d) cloth diapers. We open our windows. We have a rain bucket. We grow a vegetable garden. We carry cloth bags. We dry our clothes outside. We ride our bikes. We carry our own water bottles. We hug trees.

We wear cheap, new clothing that pushes my hippie agenda:Trees Need Hugs Too
Happy Earth Day!

June 2011 kids

Every single time

Not too long ago, I purchased some new cloth napkins. $6 for 6 brand new napkins from a local gal in town. I am currently working with girlx512  to have some 'un-paper' towels made. For the non-hippy, think paper towels that can be used, washed, and re-used. It's an amazing concept.

Why didn't I think of that?

Although sometimes it's an investment to begin using cloth (diapers, napkins, paper towels), it's worth it to me. I feel satisfied every single time I throw a dirty napkin in the laundry basket.  

Easter 156 

We play peek-a-boo at the table. We feed Bennett baked beans and call it a meal. His bib has been washed (and re-used) so many times it is losing its color. He drinks out a real cup because I DESPISE sippy cups.

We act surprised every single time he pops out from under the napkin.Easter 157

We do what we can to save this Earth.

I totally think my boys are worth it.

June 2011 kids

Rules. We need some rules in this place.

I always hate the "after" post. What topic should touch the one before? Do I continue on or change the subject? What I wrote on Tuesday doesn't make me proud. It doesn't even make me pleased. I don't feel like a better mother or a happier person because I wrote about the struggle of holding it all together.

I wrote about how I lost control with Simon. I did. I lost control and got really angry.

And I think part of the reason I got so angry is because Simon can/will/does drive me up the wall sometimes. (The other reason is an unhappy little thing called PMS.) (But we don't need to talk about that. Do we?) Ahem. Simon repeats himself. He bounces. He disobeys. He tells stories that never end. He teases his brother. He gets louder if ignored. He splashes in the tub. He spills his milk. He never wants to eat supper. He is always hungry. He watches too much TV. He wants to pick out his own clothes. He never ties his shoes. He walks slowly. He runs without looking.

But wait. There's more.

He is grouchy in the morning. He hates school. He can't wait to grow up. He won't eat in certain restaurants. He is impatient. He jumps down the last five stairs (every single time). He chases the dog. He grabs things from his brother. He worries. He is afraid of sirens, loud noises, the dark, police cars, tornadoes, seat-belts, and dentists. He wants his Daddy. He wants attention. He wants me.

He wants me and my attention now. By the way, is now the time when I admit that I spend way too much time on the computer? I do. I spend too much time on the computer. So, I'm setting some boundaries with my computer time.

Here are the rules: 45 minute email, blog, facebook check in the morning. After this time, I am going to shut all tabs. No drive-by F5ing. While Bennett is napping, the computer is fair-game. After nap time commences, the tabs are shut down again. No refreshing. No checking my email as I walk by the computer. My goal is to engage and enjoy my time with both Simon and Bennett. If Simon wants to watch cartoons? Fine. I will too without the computer in my lap.

And maybe, just maybe if I listen the first-time, Simon wouldn't have to repeat himself.

Now that we've had this discussion, let's change the subject. Okay?