Tags: simon says

June 2011 kids

Ugly Sweater Run

I think it's part his  personality plus part encouragement from his family but Simon has taken a pretty big interest in running lately. The record should be clear that I DON'T ENJOY THE RUNNING. Uh-uh. No, thank you. BIG HEAD SHAKE NO. I don't like to sweat and I certainly don't like to run. The closest you'll see me running is to the car when I'm late  which, sadly, happens entirely (read:  e very day)  too often.  So this running interest? Not from me.

His good looks? You better believe it. The desire to make your chest hurt and legs feel like jelly? Not so much.

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Just this fall, Simon  completed his first school marathon by running 26.2 miles after school every Wednesday afternoon. Typically it takes him all of the fall season and part of the spring. T his year his goal is to get another marathon completed during the spring season. This drive? Again NOT FROM ME.

We also can't forget that we "ran" th e Color Run in October. This month's big running adventure? The Ugly Sweater Run w ith his Uncle Josh and Matt.

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The course was a 5k and Simon ran almost the entire course with Josh. Josh reported that they walked twice during the race but ran the majority. Sadly, Dad dy couldn't keep up with the young crazies. He finished, of course, just not quite as fast. I thought it VERY FITTING that his fake 'stache came in gray.

Evidence of my stud muffin, @mtpoolie. #uglysweaterrun

Simon had an absolute blast out on the course and really enjoyed playing with the fake snow after the race. I really enjoyed watching him run. (I may or may not have actually missed the finish. I was on the playground with the other two .) Anyways the key word here is watching.

  I enjoy watching him run. I enjoy celebrating his success. 

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And his dance moves too. I enjoy watching his dance moves. May b  be he did get something from me after all. 

I swear to be a better blogger this week. I have an updated kitchen and house post. More Elf on the Shelf shen ani gans  g and out-takes from our not yet arrived Christmas cards. #ifailatblogging

June 2011 kids

Lawrence 2012 Zombie Walk

When Simon was a baby, "dress up like zombies and walk down the street," didn't even cross my mind as a family fun activity. Don't get me wrong. I mean, we've thought about zombies and we totally have a plan of action in the event that zombies attack.

(Head to the foothills of the Colorado mountains and live off my oldest sister's pantry and deep freezer.)
(Sister could feed us for months.) 
(Friends, not zombies, welcome.)

But dress up like a zombie and pretend to be one? Walk with hundreds and hundreds of other zombies down Mass street?

Nope, definitely not.  

#zombiewalk #boys

We had rules, back in like '06, of all the things we didn't want SImon to do. No toy guns. No swords. No talking about scary things. No bloody Halloween costumes. No violent TV shows, only PBS cartoons. My how things change.

(In my head, I'm saying this like I'm 80 years old and bunched over my cane. My hair is silver. "Back in Aught Six, we had rules! We had toy guns but none of them fancy things you have now! In Twelve, we dressed up like zombies for fun!")

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(Corn syrup blood. Read: a sticky, sticky mess.)
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This was the only picture I managed to get of the actual walk. My camera died but picture hundreds of people dressed and dragging their limbs behind them.

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Good American fun, right? Good thing it's no longer Aught Six. The old Mother in me would have been terrified of the prospect.

June 2011 kids

9 in 2012

Dear Simon,

So much of my time is spent in the daily grind of raising three small children. Currently comprised of late bedtimes, hot mornings watering the flowers, messy floors that constantly needs sweeping, laundry that needs flipping, swimming pool breaks, and time spent yelling at you. Pick this up! Go downstairs! Leave your sister alone! Your time is spent playing with Legos, rotting your brain with various electronics, reading, and annoying Bennett. It's good to be a kid.

Do you realize how much has changed in my life? It's hard to believe that it all happened 9 yeas ago.  

Baby Simon

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I sometimes SUCK at being your Mom. Let's not even beat around the bush or pretend it isn't true. I yell too much. I blame you when Bennett falls down. I have little patience for your shenanigans and then I tell you to 'go away.' I point my finger and shake my head and threaten to spank your butt as you quickly dart pass me in the hallway.

I want you to stop jumping, to stop showing off, to stop being inappropriate, to stop making noises with your mouth.

It doesn't work. It never works. Even when I threaten and come within two inches of losing it on you. You still bounce and jump and poke Bennett's head when I'm not looking. 

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Oh, Simon. What am I doing to do with you? You and I will forever be bound together, my first born son. Mother and child. The same could be said about you and Bennett. Big brother, little brother. You claim to hate him and that he's "the meanest brother ever." But some day (I hope), you'll be best friends. I'll keep praying about it.

Did you know that I am your advocate? Do you even know what that means? It means I would die for you, Simon Poo. I would fight until the end so that you get the best out of life. I must protect you. Mother and child. Maybe I am too protective, too sensitive to comments made by others, too easily embarrassed by your behavior?

You're just a boy.  A nine year old boy who runs and jumps and laughs his way through life. I hate that I need reminding.

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So here's to you, Love. Make a wish and blow it out. I wish for another year of learning and growing together. I'm going to do better, I promise. I'm going to yell less and say yes to more ice cream. We're going to play the Wii together, read Harry Potter longer, and go down every single water slide we can find. I am going to love you for you and not who I want you to be. Remind me if I forget. Can you do that for me, please?

Happy birthday, kiddo.

Love you always, all ways,

Previous birthday thoughts here: 6 in 2009, 7 in 2010, and 8 in 2011. (2011 was my favorite post.)

June 2011 kids

Forbidden fruit found

When we went out to Great Bend this past weekend, the big boys (Simon, Roan, and Rowdy) happened to find a nudie magazine. Imagine three, small, and completely (well, mostly) innocent eight year old boys locked in the bathroom with WIDE EYES and the ultimate forbidden fruit: a copy of Playboy magazine.

I'm sorry? What's that you say? We suddenly have pre-adolescent boys in our family? OH, SHUT UP.
Roan Henry
(This is my nephew Roan Henry. Although he looks 15 years old here, he is really only eight. I promise.)

The giggles about what they discovered just wouldn't stop. Hilarious! Except if you are the Mother who is about to literally die from embarrassment because your precious, adorable baby son is using words like "balls" and "naked girls" and "suck" very loudly and crassly all while in front of his Great-Grandmother who, fortunately, can't hear a lick and thus missed the whole exchange. Then it's not really funny. Ok, FINE. Maybe it's a little bit funny now but it wasn't then. 

Rest assured, I flipped my shit out in the car on them as we pulled out of the driveway. Things like NASTY and INAPPROPRIATE and HOW COULD YOU rushed out of my mouth while my ashamed eyes bored holes into theirs. Unfortunately, Matt was not with us and oh, how I wish he had been because I did not handle the situation well at all. Mostly I was shocked at the language Simon used and the manner in which he chose to ask about the magazine. Sadly, I feel as though this first exchange of Simon openly asking questions was not a very good one. Which is honestly all well and good with me because HA, HA NOT IT on the next time the subject of naked ladies comes up. 

Let it also be known that if Simon later leads a life full of sexual promiscuity, we can fully blame his Uncle Ryan. Immediately upon hearing about the incident, he promptly texted and offered to purchase Simon his very own subscription to Playboy. He lamented the fact that he never had a cool uncle growing up. 

Sounds good to me, Ryan. Just understand that we get to keep all the free DVDs. Also? When Simon asks any questions, we are totally giving him your phone number.


June 2011 kids

Another post written by Simon

I am proud to live in Kansas because...

"Kansas is a cool plase to live. Sunflowers are rilly big and rilly cool. I like all my frinds in Kansas. I like my scool. and my home and my town. and my sister and my brother and my Mom and my Dad. I like the jayhawks to."

We all love the Jayhawks, Simon. KU certainly is the best school in the state and Lawrence the best place to raise a family. DUH. With all the hippies and the Liberals and the free family activities- why wouldn't anyone want to live here?

Rock Chalk Jayhawk! Go KU!

I love how you said Mom before Dad too. Don't worry- I won't point out this fact or rub it in to Daddy. I promise. We know that would be silly and I am way too mature for that. You should be proud of me. I am proud of you.

I didn't even lose my temper make a face act sad when you refused to get in the picture with Baby Jay.  Progress, son. Progress.

It must be because we live in Lawrence. It is the best town after all.

June 2011 kids

Surperly oubnoxious

Public service announcement: the smell of paint thinner does not wash out of clothing. I know this from first hand experience. Don't worry, I am not going to give up or quit the fight against the smell. Stubborn? (points to self) You betcha. In case you are wondering, the white spray paint did not actually come off the flower pot that I was desperately trying to return to its original red color. It's okay. I LOVE hearing the swish swish of my washing machine going AGAIN after I stupidly threw the wet rag into the current load of clothing. My bad. My bad.

Not an option: throwing away the soiled and smelly clothing. Up next: vinegar soak. Last resort: the wonderful, magical, all powerful bleaching of the SUN.

On an unrelated note, (as if my laundry isn't the most riveting read ever) Simon came home with self-portrait awhile back. It had a boy wearing a black skully t-shirt with blue, spikey hair holding a microphone in one hand and a skateboard in the other. Along the side in big capital letters it said SIMON. 


S - Surper

I - Incredible

M - Manly

O - Oubnoxious

N - Nice

Super and incredible? Absolutely! Manly? Just like his Daddy. Nice? Mostly but rarely to Bennett. Obnoxious? On certain occasions. 

Kinda like my clothing. Obnoxious is the smell of paint thinner in your underwear with a touch of annoying, a smidgen of awful, and not at all super. 

June 2011 kids

I am the narrator

As Simon gets older, I feel like it is a fine line to walk when posting stories about him for all the world to read. Babies are funny and cute and babies won't remember the tales that I tell.

Simon does though. He is in 2nd grade now. I remember stories from my childhood, stories from before 2nd grade even, and virtually none of them are written down. On the contrary, I am the narrator and my kids are my characters. For over three years, I have been writing and sharing here at PPo5. I surprise myself. It's hard to believe that I've been writing for that long without giving up. (Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere.) It's just that most of the time I feel like my writing is 'same shit, different day.' How often do you want to hear about my kids and my boobs? I KNOW.

Of course, it's also hard to believe that this kid is officially 8 and a HALF. We celebrated his half-birthday by practicing the closed mouth smile. We still have time to practice.
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again: one of my biggest worries is that my blog won't match his memories. I worry that if he ever reads these words, he will say with disdain that my words weren't true and that the picture I painted wasn't as rosy. Simon? You are probably right. 

If you, Simon, gather nothing else, please know that I did love you. I loved you a lot and I was so proud of you. Right now I am most proud of the fact that you are reading just ABOVE grade level. For a kid that was behind in 1st kid, barely there and struggling in the beginning of 2nd grade, and is now ahead? That kicks ass. We set the bar high and we expect you to meet it. You have done just that.

I am sorry for all those other times that I failed you. I know there were many. Like the time I made you smile with your mouth closed to hide your terrible teeth?

Yup, sorry for that one too.
June 2011 kids

Dynamic duo

It has been mentioned a time (or two) that she'll always be taken care of when her brothers are around. I can't really imagine her dating or them driving.  

This photo is so grainy but I like it- as if the moment was snapped 100 years ago versus last week. (Let's pretend I actually planned it to look this way.) It is a quick glimpse into the relationship between them now. When she was born, he refused to hold her and was not engaged with her at all. Now he can't help but kiss her hand and is always up in her face. The dynamic between them has already been altered. 
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My days are so different. Nurse the babe, yell at Simon to finish his homework. Change a diaper, run to pick him up from 2nd grade. The dynamics are always changing and it's not just between the two.

I was the featured photo on I Should Be Folding Laundry's link-up. If you are new here, welcome. Please stay awhile! Or you can subscribe here: http://partyof5.livejournal.com/data/rss
June 2011 kids


Well, can I just say that you guys are such a helpful bunch?! ZIP, ZERO, ZILCH, NARY a single comment on ideas for what to post. No questions to answer. No suggestions.


You leave me with no choice. I'm gonna talk about my (beautiful!) (incredible!) (intelligent!) kids then ALL MONTH LONG. Don't say that I didn't warn you. Or ask for ideas. So now is your last chance. If you have something (ANYTHING) that you are curious about please SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE.

Speaking of speaking, (how's that for a transition?) we're currently reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone aloud to Simon. We've always been a big read aloud kind of family. Almost every night, regardless of the clock or my (many) bad moods, we read aloud. (This might explain why Simon's reading comprehension skills are high while his decoding skills are low. Kid can hardy read on grade level but we're working on it.)

Each kiddo (not counting Cora yet) gets a book (or a chapter) and we snuggle in the bed to read. Simon and Bennett are pretty OCD about the whole thing. If we really want to tick them off, we take book reading away. Nothing changes behavior faster than the loss of their favorite privilege. If you really want to tick me off, don't leave me any comments act whiny, wild, or out of control. THEN IT'S NO BOOK FOR YOU, DUDE.

So anyways, together (Matt and I take turns reading) we've been reading Harry Potter. We've read A LOT of books as a family and other than most all of Roald Dahl's books, this has been one my favorite books to date. Why? Not only is it a really fun story but also BECAUSE I GET TO USE AN ENGLISH ACCENT. I may or may not be using my excellent English accent ALL DAY LONG.  

Cheerio, Son. Did ya 'ave a jolly good day at school?

Wat are ya doing? Do ya think yer Mum's crazy?

Cricky! Is this the best ya got fer a blog post? Goodness, me. Well, I'll say. I asked for ya assistance and got noh suggestions. SO leave ah comment and have a good day to ya then, daarling.  
June 2011 kids

B-U-T-FUL not to be confused with butt-full

Today's post is brought to you by Simon. He wrote the text for a 2nd grade assignment about butterflies. As part of the science curriculum, 2nd grade studies Monarchs. This is our 3rd year raising babies. Check out this butterfly post from 2009! Pictures, as usual, by yours truly. 

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If I wus a caterpillar, I wood eat and eat and eat and poop.

And trasfrom into a chrysalis.


And com owt as a butful butterfly.

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Dri yor winings and fly.

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Be free! But just woch owt thers danjer at evre tern.

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But the werst part is the cietrs. They hate butterflys.

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Go! Go to Mexico.

If I was a caterpillar, I would eat and eat and poop and transform into a chrysalis and come out as a beautiful butterfly. Dry your wings and fly. Be free! But just watch out there is danger at every turn. But the worst part is the critters. They hate butterflies. Go! Go to Mexico. 

I think I am going to hire Simon to work as a contributor at PPo5, Inc. It would be a shame and a disservice to my readers to not include his writings.

Just like his Mama, he is a butful writer.